Emptiness

So I didn't make that gratitude sign to hang on my wall soon enough.

I had such an emotional day yesterday.  One of those days where I spent 75% of the day crying for no good reason.  Do you know the feeling?  Well, I woke up just exhausted, walked the dog (more like shuffled my feet around the neighborhood mindlessly), and went back to bed.  Steve asked if everything was ok, and that started the tears.  They continued intermittently all day.  He asked if I'd like to do something fun, and I said, "Let's go to the Zoo."  But I'd been telling the kids to clean their room for days so I told them that had to happen first.  It didn't happen.  Neither did the Zoo.

I got out of the house to go looking for a booster seat for Katelyn (after she refused to sit in her high chair, and then fell off the kitchen chair where we were trying to feed her). And returned without one (I was looking for something specific...I think we'll have to jimmy one.  Our table is wierd, and it goes low so there's no room for legs when they're up on a booster, pushed up the the table).

Later that evening I decided I really should go grocery shopping.  I wanted Steve to come too, but no kids.  That didn't happen either.  I ended up going with Annabelle.  I needed Steve.  

I ended up going to Smith's Marketplace and buying a bunch of clothes and a purse...along with my groceries.

I think I hit an all time record high at checkout.

I think I'll be taking all my new clothes back.

More tears.

Wow.  I'm sure glad that day is over.

Gratitude

"A grateful person is rich in contentment.
An ungrateful person suffers in the poverty of endless discontentment."
-Elder Bednar
Oct. 2013 General Conference

I think I should make a huge sign in my house and read this every day.  I have this habit of seeing only what I want to change and improve, and not focusing on all that I have already.  I'm sure many of us do.

So Much Saddness

I've just been thinking about all the sad things going on to individual people that I know.  Of course everyone has trials, but major sad things happening just seems to be more contagious these days.  I'm just so tired of it.  No wonder so many people are depressed.  It wears down on me too.  I want to help everyone, but instead draw deeper into myself because I feel too overwhelmed.

I know I need to focus on the many wonderful things that people are doing for each other.  There are so many good, happy, honest, and caring people out there.  If only we could all be like that.  I suppose these people get bogged down too; but are peaceful inside despite it all.

I was telling the kids today about how the Holy Ghost is sometimes like a butterfly.  If we are too busy or loud, the Holy Ghost will just flutter away.  But if we are still and quiet inside he may just gently rest upon us and feel us with peace and inspiration.  Christ has power over the fiercest tempests, so of course he has power to calm all of our turmoil.  I just have to go to Him and humbly ask for it.

A Giant Sticky Note

As if I didn't have enough blogs already, I've decided to start a new one that is really just about what's going on in my head.  I'm sure nobody cares, but it's more for me to get it all out and move on with my life and then come back later and think some more about it...kinda like a giant sticky note.

Most of these posts will probably be late at night (when kids are sleeping, my brain strangely comes alive).  Just don't judge me to harshly...it is late after all.

I did have some profound thought I wanted to write down, but then I got to work creating this blog, and now that thought is gone.  Oh well.  I'll be ready to catch it next time.

I'd better get some zzzz's.